We generally think of creativity as a positive thing. If you let me, I'll wax poetic about how creativity can improve pretty much every dimension of your life. Indeed, most research points to the positive consequences of creativity.
However, it would be dishonest to pretend it's all sunshine and rainbows. Because there is a shadow side to creativity. While research in this area has focused primarily on how creativity can increase unethical behavior, the side effect I've struggled with most is...
Penelope Cruz in her Oscar-winning performance as Maria Elena in Vicky Christina Barcelona
...chronic dissatisfaction. A default stance that there's something wrong with the way things are. That there's something missing. That reality is somehow fundamentally deficient and therefore disappointing.
But what does this have to do with creativity?
As we get more connected to our creativity we start spending more time in the realm of possibilities. And, in my experience, the easier it is to imagine possibilities, the harder it is to feel satisfied with the status quo. The more vividly we paint pictures in our mind of what could be, the more reality can seem colorless by comparison.
Indeed, some research by Joshua Katz suggests that creative ideas serve as "upward counterfactuals" that make us more dissatisfied with our current experience.
Sometimes what we find lacking is the quality of our own creative work. What Malcolm Gladwell famously called “The Gap”.* That distance between the perfect outcome we envisioned and the imperfect outcome we actually produce.
Search #Pinterestfail for some hilarious examples of "The Gap" in action.
But often what we find lacking is the state of the world, or worse, other people. Why can’t my (colleague / friend / partner / child) be a bit more (considerate / compassionate / calm / conscientious)?
The problem is that this war with reality (just like any kind of war) consumes an insane amount of resources. And in exchange for all that energy expenditure we generally don’t get anywhere.
Tina Fey and Andrea Martin in the TV show Great News
We might call this the “No, But” approach. A refrain of: "But things shouldn't be this way." At times (including last Friday), I can get caught in the classic trap of binary thinking, assuming my options are either to rebel against reality or cave in complacently.
Friday lunchtime I had a call with two close friends, Alexia and Raluca. My Triad. We've met every other week for the past three years to pause and reflect on life as we're living it. I recommend it.
I was sharing my theory that a certain level of dissatisfaction is simply the cost of a creative mind. Yet, in the conversation that ensued, I had a realization (as I often do in my triad conversations). I realized there was (of course) a third way.
A “Yes, And” approach.
The concept of "Yes, And" comes from improvisational comedy where it acts as an injunction to performers to accept whatever idea their partner has just thrown out, no matter how crazy, and build on it.
For more on how to apply Yes, And thinking, check out this book by improv legends.
But I think Yes, And can also represent a more creative way to relate to reality. A reminder that I can say YES to what is, even when it's awful or messy or incredibly inconvenient. A reminder there is a huge reward waiting when I relax my resistance because it frees up energy I can use to move in the direction of something more expansive, more life-giving.
While that may mean finding a creative solution, it equally may mean letting reality be as it is and growing myself into the person who can be in a friendly relationship with reality in all its limitations.
It has been said that forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past. Perhaps creativity requires that we give up all hope of a better present. Maybe making peace with the present is what provides us with the strongest launching off point to bring a better future into being.
How does the shadow side of creativity show up for you? What's a reality in your life you've been resisting? And what might it be like to greet it with an unconditional Yes, And?
*You may want to check out this 1-minute video with my interpretation of Ira Glass's concept of "The Gap"