It's a sunny Sunday morning and I'm on my way to a haircut appointment. The streets by normally busy Brick Lane are deserted. Except for an older woman pulling a trolley walking toward me.

The urban pedestrian’s dilemma: Do I smile at a stranger or look straight ahead? I look at the woman’s headscarf and abaya I think she’s probably judging my sundress as scandalous. I look straight ahead and make my energy small, as if to slip by her. 

But she stops me. 

I think she's going to ask for directions.

She gives me a big smile and says, “What a beautiful dress. Such a nice spring color.” 

I thank her and wish her a good day, and we go our separate ways.

Wow.

First, I felt deeply touched by this woman going out of her way to give me a compliment. The kindness of strangers, even in micro-moments like this, helps restore my faith in humanity.

Then, I felt a twinge of guilt about my implicit bias.* She schooled me on what it looks like to meet difference with openness and appreciation rather than judgement and separation. (Something I normally pride myself on but clearly still have a long way to go).

Finally, I reflected. Wow, I’m really quick to assume other people are judging me and then dim my light, FOR LITERALLY NO REASON! I’d like to change that.

What does this have to do with creativity? 

Wanting to avoid the judgement of others is one of the biggest mental barriers to creativity. That voice in our head that says, “But what will people think?”

Doing something creative (rather than conventional) means risking rejection and, because we're social animals, rejection hurts. 

Also, very practically, acceptance and approval make our lives easier in a whole host of ways so it’s quite rational to want to avoid losing them. 

It’s not that the risk of judgement isn’t real. But we need to right-size the risk of judgement if we want to tip the scales in favor of taking creative action. 

This is where some simple psychology can go a long way.

1. The Spotlight Effect - How much are others really judging me?

We’re afraid of putting something creative out there because we think everyone we’ve ever met will see it and judge us, but the reality is people are busy living their lives and very few will take the time to notice what we do. 

2. Negativity Bias - How harsh are their judgements, really? 

Our brains weigh negative information more that positive information. This is evolutionarily adaptive and helps keep us safe, but it becomes a handicap for creativity. The reality is that other’s judgements will typically follow a normal distribution.

But our assumptions of their judgements are skewed to the left (with a little blip at the far right for fantasies of Oscar acceptance speeches and NYT bestseller status). 

That means, we have a big blindspot. 

We routinely forget about all the people whose reactions are neutral or positive. Just like I did about that woman on the street.

So the positive thing about negativity bias is that it means people are almost never judging us as harshly as we think they are.

3. Self-authoring mind - How much does the judgement of other people matter? 

Several years ago I took a painting course at the British Library in connection with their amazing Harry Potter exhibit. I don’t have any special skills in painting, but wanted to experiment with a new creative outlet (and also gain after hours access to the exhibit that came as a perk of the course). 

The instructor walked around, checking in with us as we were working. He stopped next to me and said, “Are you happy with it?” 

My first reaction was a clenching in my chest. 

I thought, ‘This is a trick question. This is that part of feedback where you want to criticise me but you’re allowing me the dignity of criticising myself first.’ I looked at my painting-in-progress and tried to decide which of its flaws to highlight. 

But then I looked at the face of my instructor. Kind. Curious. Open. 

This was not a trick question. He genuinely was asking about what I thought about what I was doing. He was prioritising my standard of evaluation over his own.

🤯 

This is the beauty of subjectivity. There wasn’t a “right way” to paint my picture. 

Shifting the standards of evaluation from external to internal was a big theme in my research. At Escape the City, where I did my PhD field research, they had people write two definitions of success: first the one they were raised with and then their own personal definition of success at this point in their lives. 

This is an example of what psychologist Dr. Robert Kegan calls a shift from “socialized mind” to “self-authoring mind”. In socialized mind we’re focused on gaining others’ approval and playing by their rules. We take society’s definition of success as a given. 

In self-authoring mind, you are the one who decides what matters to you. You are the one whose opinion matters most. 

So if you notice yourself focusing a lot about what others might think, try to shift int your self-authoring mind by getting clear on what matters to you. 

So there you have it.

Next time you notice the risk of judgement inhibiting your creativity ask yourself three questions:

1. How much are others really judging me? 

2. How harsh are their judgements, really? 

3. How much does the judgement of other people matter?

By right-sizing the risk of judgement you'll feel more free to jump into your next creative project. 

*I was surprised at my implicit bias, but the reality is that nobody is immune. For me, even after living in predominantly-Muslim countries for 5+ years, being blessed with lots of lovely Muslim friends and colleagues, not to mention being married to a Muslim (with loving and supportive Muslim in-laws) and raising a Muslim daughter, I still have biased thoughts running around in my head. So I showed myself some compassion and reminded myself that we absorb bias from our environments and it’s part of being human and having a human brain. And that un-biasing ourselves is an ongoing process (and commitment).