Odds are you’ve seen her work. But you may not know her name.

Ruth Carter designed the costumes for many iconic films including Malcolm X, Amistad, Serenity, Do the Right Thing and most famously, the Black Panther movies for which she won two Academy Awards. 

This past week I watched the episode of Abstract on Netflix about Ruth and I wanted to share three things that inspired me about her creative journey.

1. Reframing rejection. Ruth was a theater kid. She loved acting in school plays and when she got to university she auditioned for a play by Molière. But she got rejected. 

But the director offered her another position. Costume designer. She didn’t know anything about it, but she said yes and gave it a go. And the rest is history. 

We hear a lot about how failure / rejection are part of the creative process, and it’s true. Most of the advice is to use it as a learning experience. But exactly what lesson are we supposed to learn?

We have a few options for how we respond to a door slamming shut in our face. We can take it personally and make it a painful sign of our inadequacy. (Tried it. Don't recommend it). Or we can take it as neutral information that we still have more to learn before we try knocking on that door again (#growthmindset).

But Ruth’s experience highlights a third way. We can see that closed door as a benevolent “detour” sign, saving us the pain and heartbreak of moving further down a path that doesn’t fit us. An affectionate nudge in the direction of our destiny. In this way we can move with the grace of water that when blocked simply finds another path.

So next time you face a rejection, consider relating to it as a gentle redirect.

2. Misunderstanding may be temporary. After graduation, Ruth started costume designing professionally and she invited her mother to her first show. After curtain call she came backstage and saw Ruth gathering up the costumes. Her comment? “You mean to tell me that you graduated with a four-year degree to come out and do somebody’s laundry?”

Not exactly the reaction we would hope for. It’s incredibly common to feel creatively misunderstood by our parents. Often the role of "parent" brings out a risk-averse preference for practicality. For myself and for people I interviewed, these can be painful moments, excruciating even. For some people it's enough to cut them off from their creativity for years.

But yet again, Ruth didn't take it personally. She didn't let her mom’s reaction get in the way of her creative work. And with time, her mother came around. In both her Oscar acceptance speeches Ruth dedicated the award to her mother the "original superhero". The second win came just a week after her mother’s death, at 101.

So the next time someone you care about just doesn’t get it, add the tiny word “yet” and remember they may change their tune. 

3. The fear never goes away. Ruth says, "When people say, 'Wow she designed the Black Panther. Tell me how your process is.' I’m like, 'Oh yeah! I go home and cry in my pillow every night because I’m scared.' [laughs] I think it was because of the level of stress, the level of responsibility. You know, I hadn’t done a superhero film before." 

At this point, I shouldn’t be surprised. A big part of my research involved looking at the emotional volatility that can accompany the creative process. And my own lived experience testifies to the emotional rollercoaster that creative work can be at times.

Yet still a part of me thinks that creative professionals, let alone those people inducted into the pantheon of their profession, have surely cracked the code and manage to stay cool, calm and collected during the creative process.

But the reality of creative work is that every project is new. And most creative people continuously seek out new challenges that stretch them in one way or another. So you're actually always operating at the edge of your comfort zone. 

This level of emotional honesty is refreshing and helps remind us that fear will be a constant companion on the creative journey. We can reframe the fear from a red stoplight to a flashing yellow "proceed with caution". And find a way to move forward with the fear rather that wait for it to go away.

There were so many other inspiring things about Ruth, but I'm committed to keeping this newsletter short. So if you're curious to learn more about how she is moving the culture forward by dispelling negative stereotypes or how she was inspired by Oprah to see art as a restorative spiritual practice, I encourage you to watch the full episode. Or for a more detailed look into her meticulous process you can check out these videos.

One final invitation. Ruth shared a creative exercise any of us can try.

"Especially when I’m in New York, I just love to go people watching. I look at people’s clothes, how they carry themselves. And I make up stories in my head about their lives and it’s all based on what I see. Clothing can tell you so much about a person."

So next time you're in a public place consider putting down your phone and letting your imagination be inspired to create a character from someone's clothing. Or, if you can't go out in public for whatever reason, simply browse the instagram feed of Humans of New York for gems like this: